That morning, she chose her outfit with care, down to just the right jewelry. She took so long fixing her hair, she had to be reminded that it was time to leave for school.
She rushed out the door, bulging backpack, lunch bag, and binder all ready to go. Her biggest obstacle of the day would be the dreaded science test. She had studied for days and still questioned whether or not she knew the material.
Ends up, the science test was the least of her worries because when she went to sit down in health class, the girl behind her pulled her chair out from under her, causing her to fall on the hard floor. Stunned and in shock, she later recalled wondering how she came to be there, sprawled on the floor with the whole class laughing at her.
What do we do when our world comes crashing down? When the disappointments of life and the abject cruelty of others leave us lying on the cold, hard floor, wondering how we got there?
And how can we possibly rise up? How do we forgive again and again and keep a tender heart free of bitterness and full of joy? How can we survive in such a nasty world without absorbing that filth deep into ourselves?
God has wired our brains with the amazing ability to remember. Certainly as children, we have selective hearing, managing to hear our parents whisper the words “ice cream” from the furthest point in the house while not seeming to remember commands given right to our faces over and over again. How many times have we as parents or teachers (or wives) repeated, “Don’t you remember how many times I have told you that already?”
And as we age, remembering can be hard. Why did I come into this room? What was that item I kept saying I needed to remember to add to the grocery list?
But traumatic events that seem to define us in one way or another, these we remember. These painful memories seem to haunt us sometimes, leering at us months, even years later.
As the mother of a teenage girl, I have had to process a lot of hurt in the past couple of years in regards to how others have treated my daughter. I remember sending her off to kindergarten, and my prayer was, “Please don’t let them hurt my girl.” And I meant it. “If nothing else, just don’t let them be mean to her.”
But the Lord gently taught me that the better prayer would be that God would help me guide my girl through the pain of living in a broken world and dealing with hateful people. That I would intentionally and consistently guide her to the One who is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of need.
For my mother love knows no limits but that I am limited. I will always give her all that I can, all that I have. A mother pours out and pours out and pours out, and usually does so gratefully. But at some point, I will run out. My life will run out. And if she has only learned to lean on me, where will that leave her?
And so we choose to remember, not just the painful memories that are easy to dwell upon, but the life-giving memories as well. We train ourselves to remember God’s faithfulness to us in both small and great matters.
If you’ve ever read through the Old Testament, you can see how faithful God was to His people Israel. We read again and again and again of His faithfulness to a people who really weren’t very faithful to Him overall. And yet God was with them.
And He is with us also, even when we’re sprawled out on the classroom floor with everyone around us laughing at our humiliation. Even when we’re in the valleys of life, dealing with disappointment and rejection. When we just cannot grasp how others can be so hurtful or why situations in life can be so utterly unfair.
We can recall God’s faithfulness to us in some form. And the more we train ourselves to remember both God’s promises and His faithfulness to us – the more we put this idea into practice – the more situations God will bring to our minds to remind us that He is, in fact, very present. That He is, in fact, even now working on our behalf for His glory.
A dear friend and I have walked through many of life’s valleys together. We’re the type of friends who can get busy and not speak for years, and yet when we see each other, it’s like no time has passed at all. We just pick up right where we left off.
We got together recently to catch up, and we shared our latest challenges, as friends do, and we began remembering God’s faithfulness to us over the years. After we parted ways, I was just reflecting on this, and I wanted to get my head around what God was doing in my heart.
So I wrote it all down and sent her this message (shared here with her permission, of course):
I was just thinking of those Saturday afternoons 15 years ago when we prayed for our jobs and marriages and future babies. I know life is complicated and our dreams don’t always come true in the way we wanted/expected them to. But God is good. Even with all of our heartaches and disappointments, He has proven His faithfulness time and time again. He loves us. He calls us worthy. He makes us worthy. In Him, we are worthy.
And now we find ourselves in another waiting room of sorts, full of uncertainty and even insecurity. Even though we are older and realize our vulnerabilities now (perhaps better than we did when we were younger), and even though we are a bit more bruised and battered, we serve the same God.
So a few years from now (or perhaps sooner!), we’ll be shaking our heads in amazement at how God has, in His always-perfect timing, led us to exactly where He wants us for this next season of life.
“Not to us, Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness” (Ps. 115:1).
I love the book of Psalms because I always feel like it perfectly captures so many of our human thoughts and emotions. On remembering God’s faithfulness in the midst of our own frailties and vulnerabilities, I particularly love Psalm 46:1-7:
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
See, there is power in remembering both for good and for harm. We can replay the low points of our lives like a depressing movie in our brains, constantly on repeat. Or we can deal with our pain, not ignoring it or denying it, but walking through it and processing all that goes along with it.
And then we can choose to dwell on God’s faithfulness, on those beautiful moments full of excellence where God’s love shines through compassionate friends, where joy settles deep in our hearts. Where hope reigns. And hope is key in our remembering.
Romans 5:1-5 tells us:
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
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