It was the lightest hue of lilac. The perfect marriage of romantic and playful. Tulle and ruffles, with a hint of a corset. Victorian roots, but with a modern and youthful twist. It was, she knew right away, meant to be hers.
My daughter, Kendall, picked out this year’s Homecoming dress back in the spring. So when it was time to order it, she already knew which one she wanted. Because of the tiny holographic hearts dwelling in the tulle of the dress, she decided to go all in on the heart theme.
She planned to deck herself in rhinestone hearts: earrings, choker, purse, and even face jewels to make her eye makeup extra – well, just extra. Thankfully, she already had silver high heels from last year’s prom that would work.
And we waited. Tracked it every day to see when we could expect this real-life princess dress to arrive on our doorstep. Time ticked away, closer and closer to her Homecoming dance. And it did come – about a week and half before the dance. We both loved the look of it in person, but since it came later in the evening, she didn’t try it on until the next day.
That, dear friends, is where our story veers off the happily ever after path. In short, she hated it. The ribbon shoulder straps kept falling down. The ruffled peek-a-boo sleeves that looked so cute in the picture didn’t stay connected to the bodice and kept snapping off when she moved her arms. The corset, in her opinion, was not flattering. She was devastated.
Some of us have found ourselves in a similar place, haven’t we? We have dreamed and planned and prayed, only to have reality leave us disappointed and jaded. That perfect job . . . that loving marriage . . . that longed-for child . . . that impressive workout routine . . . . Whatever it was that was meant to fill us up to overflowing and keep us satisfied has failed. Miserably.
And we look down at ourselves and wonder why. How did we get here? What can we do to fix this? And I’m here to tell you what I told Kendall: wear the dress. See yourself in your circumstances, take your disappointments to God in prayer, remind yourself what a mighty God He is. And wear the dress.
Remember the story of Hagar in the Bible? In Genesis 16, we read about how Abram and his wife, Sarai, have no children. Back then, having children was everything. And people did some pretty desperate things in order to have children.
So Sarai tells Abram to sleep with her servant, Hagar, in order to build a family through her. But as you might imagine, when Hagar does exactly what Sarai tells her to do and becomes pregnant, Sarai mistreats Hagar. And Hagar flees.
Verse 7 tells us that the angel of the Lord finds Hagar near a spring in the desert and asks her where she is going. She says that she is running away, and he tells her to go back and submit to Sarai, and that he will increase her descendants so that there will be too many of them to count.
The angel of the Lord said to her: “You are now pregnant and you will give birth to a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the Lord has heard of your misery. He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.”
And then we are told: She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me” (Genesis 16:13).
Know that God sees you in your uncomfortable place. Your lonely place. Your sad place. Your angry place. And not only does He see you, but He loves you. Right there, sitting on the floor in tatters. He. Loves. You.
He made you. He designed you on purpose for a purpose. And sometimes, when we feel like our lives are unraveling and nothing is as clear as we would like it to be, we just have to hold on. Hunker down in that place, cry out to our God, and trust that He hears us. Trust that, when the time is right, He will answer. He will bring clarity.
Until then, wear the dress. Put on the jewelry. Look at yourself in the mirror and twirl. Smile! For you are absolutely known and fully loved just as you are.
That’s what Kendall did at her school’s Homecoming. She rocked her dream dress, even if the ribbon straps fell down and the gauzy sleeves didn’t stay attached to the bodice. Even though it was a style she doesn’t usually wear and isn’t sure she’s entirely comfortable in. And even though it rained all day and she couldn’t get pictures done in the park like we had planned.
You see, I offered to return the dress and go with her to find another one. But it turns out, all she had to do was decide to wear the one she has. She tried it on again, we made a few small adjustments, and she felt like she could make it work. After wearing it for one night, she decided she wanted to put it on again for pictures the next day.
There will be other fancy events and other pretty dresses. But for now, she has learned to appreciate the parts of this dress that she does like, accept the ones she doesn’t, and dance anyway.
Because the only thing more beautiful than a dream dress is someone who chooses contentment and joy. And you and I can do this in both small and big ways as we journey through this life of ups and downs, ribbons and tulle. We can choose contentment because though we may not have a perfect dress or a perfect dance partner, we are never, ever alone.
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13).
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