When it’s just not your season

Growing up in Virginia, I was always loathe to declare one season my favorite. After all, each season has a beauty all its own:  winter houses Christmas, spring boasts color after the bleakness of winter, summer brings beach vacation, and fall – well, I am finally ready to conclude that fall is my very favorite. 

The changing colors of the leaves activate my awe at every turn. Each drive down a tree-lined road leaves me breathless in wonder. And the weather is chilly without being cold. There’s also that fall smell in the air – crisp, new, promising. 

In fact, I love fall so much that my sister made a quilt for me years ago that features beautiful leaves, and I wrap this quilt around me whenever I sit in my favorite reading chair so that I can enjoy the warmth of fall all year round. Fall is a season I never want to leave, and this quilt allows me to linger there for a spell whenever I feel the need.

I can recall seasons in my life that I never wanted to end as well:  college, for one; planning my wedding, for another; my daughter’s baby, toddler, and pre-school years, for yet another. These seasons were ripe with adventure and hope for me, and as such, I fully embraced them. I knew my purpose in these seasons, and I felt productive much of the time. 

And then, there are those other seasons, the ones I would rather travel quickly through. I don’t need to linger here very long, Lord. I’d like to be on my way. Those type of seasons. I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing-here-but-I-do-know-I-don’t-like-it seasons. These seasons may be too hot or too cold or just not-quite-right somewhere.

What I have learned, though, is that I need to embrace every season. It may not be a winning season for me. I may not feel productive or successful. I may, quite frankly, feel a bit lost. But I need to lean in and be all here, fully present even here.

When my husband and I were dating, he would tease me for always holding my purse in my lap whenever we went anywhere – in the car or to visit friends or family. I didn’t even realize that I was doing it. I had just grown accustomed to holding my purse in my lap. I guess it was just my way of moving things along. 

I may have been riding in a car, but I was on my way from Point A to Point B, and leaving my purse in my lap reminded me that I was ready for the next stop. If I was visiting a friend or family member, we would do the southern thing and visit a while, or sit a spell, and that purse would sit in my lap the whole time because even though I was perched on their couch, I would eventually be leaving to head to the next place.

It’s easy to get into this mentality of preparing for the next big thing or the fun season that’s hopefully around the corner somewhere, but then we miss out on what God wants to do in us in the quiet and possibly a bit funky seasons. 

I love Psalm 90:

Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You return man to dust and say, “Return, O children of man!” For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.

You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning:  in the morning it flourishes and is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers. 

For we are brought to an end by your anger; by your wrath we are dismayed. You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. For all our days pass under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh.

The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? 

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Return, O Lord! How long? Have pity on your servants! Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. 

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!

I also find such wisdom in Ecclesiastes 3:11 – He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

And also Ecclesiastes 7:14 – In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider:  God has made the one as well as the other, so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.

So I’ll be soaking up fall for all it’s worth these next few weeks, and then, in the middle of winter when the excitement of Christmas is behind us and it’s just cold, I’ll remember that God has made one season as well as the others. And if He has done so, there is something for me to learn as I journey through each one.