On beach bodies and worship

You may have seen the meme floating around social media about having a beach body. 

How to get a beach body: 1) Have a body. 2) Go to the beach.

This year, I followed that advice. I took the body I have to the beach.

While there, I took a picture of the beach, framed by my umbrella on one side and my knees on the other. This picture is meaningful to me because last year when my family went to the beach, I stayed in the condo because I couldn’t walk well enough to go out on the beach.

The knee specialist couldn’t say what exactly happened to my left knee a year and a half ago, but something caused muscle atrophy in my left quads and calf muscles, which led to me limping around on my good knee for quite some time. I have been building strength back up in my left quads and calf muscles for the past year – faithfully, six days a week, either strength training with weights or teaching my legs how to walk properly again on the treadmill. 

It has been grueling. It has been frustrating. It has been more of a struggle than I can even describe. It is something I would never wish on my worst enemy. And, as many who see me remind me, yes, I am still limping. I do realize this. But I also know that I am stronger than I was a year ago. I’m still not up to par; this fact is never lost on me. But alas! I am stronger than I was. 

And I was able to make it out to sit on the beach this year. I didn’t impress anyone with my speed or agility, but I made it down the beach to sit in my beach chair and back up to the condo every day that we decided to go out as a family. And do you know what I noticed? I was too busy trying to maneuver my left leg through the thick (hot) sand to worry about how I looked in my bathing suit.

Some of you know what a big deal this can be. I cannot remember a time in my life when I was not self-conscious in my bathing suit, but at age 43 and walking with a limp, I finally accomplished this. However, being focused on the usually simple task of just walking wasn’t the only reason I was able to achieve this milestone. 

About a week before leaving for the beach, I stumbled upon Jess Connolly’s Breaking Free from Body Shame. I read an excerpt of it on Instagram that left me in tears and sent me directly to Amazon to buy it on my Kindle – specifically so I could read it while I was at the beach. 

As someone who has always been active (until struck down with muscle atrophy), I have always been able to just exercise more. Move more, eat less – this has worked fairly well for me in the past. But I didn’t realize how much I had bought into this cultural idea that my body is a project. That once I’ve achieved a certain weight, a certain size, a certain beach body; once I’ve joined this or that weight-loss plan – then, and only then, will my body be good. 

But when God created Adam and Eve, what did He say? He said they were good. Their bodies were already good. And although I have always known how much God loves me, I have still believed in some deep, dark part of my being that if society says my body is not good enough, then it must be so. I have believed so much of what God has said about me, but somehow missed this:  that my body, just as I am right now, is good. 

Can I have health goals that include being more active (as my condition allows)? Absolutely. Can I exercise self-control in eating? Sure. There is value in getting more physically fit, and I’m not knocking that. I feel great when I’m active and eating right. But for some, being active and eating right don’t equal weight loss. And the shame that they feel, the judgment that they face – it’s heartbreaking. 

If you aren’t familiar with the term body shaming, it basically means what you may imagine it does:  the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size. You may body shame yourself, never feeling like your own body measures up to society’s standards. 

Or you may body shame others with ugly comments behind their backs about how lazy they must be or how they shouldn’t be wearing a certain style of clothing at their size. You may not say these things aloud, but still think them inside your own head. It’s all a part of shaming those who don’t fit the cultural mold for body size and shape.

Working toward healthier habits is a good goal, and we can do that while clinging to the truth that we don’t need to follow the world’s standards for how we should look. I am living in God’s kingdom. My heart longs for what brings Him glory. I believe we bring God glory when we believe what He says about us. 

I love how Jess talks about moving our bodies in exercise as an act of worship. Everything we do while in these beautiful bodies that God has given us can be an act of worship to Him. This includes physical therapy and all of the work that so many people with chronic pain and illnesses endure – the kind of exercise that will not produce Instagram-worthy abs but merely allow you to live your life in as normal a way as possible. 

Whether exercise brings us transformation that is outwardly apparent or if we can bring Him glory by persevering in ways that may never be obvious to others – it can be worship.

One of the (many) quotes I highlighted from the book is this:  The truest thing about you is that you are made and loved by God. And the truest thing about Him is that He cannot make bad things. 

Years ago, when we celebrated my maternal grandmother’s life at her funeral, there was a time in the service for anyone who wished to share a memory of my grandmother. It was the sweetest part of the day for me, as I got to hear how my grandmother had impacted the lives of others. 

She was always such a positive force in my life and in the lives of all of her children and grandchildren. We knew her as joyful, strong, adventurous, compassionate, and brave. But to my delight, I found out through the sharing of others I had never even met how she was all of those things to others as well. She was altogether lovely and so very, very loved. 

And this may seem odd, but as I was riding home that day, this thought popped into my head:  No one talked about how pretty she was. No one mentioned how much she weighed or what size clothes she wore. (I told you it was weird!) But there it was. And I chewed on that thought because I felt like there was something meaningful there. 

Living in a society that is obsessed with how one looks – particularly (not exclusively, but particularly) women – I was surprised that no one mentioned how she looked. But I was also elated that when it all comes down to it, when life is stripped to its very core, we are – each of us – so, so, so much more than how we look or how much we weigh. 

Body shape, size, and weight are all a part of who we are. But they aren’t everything. We are, each and every one of us, made up of so many intricate and amazing parts and pieces. God has created us with such depth. There is much in each of us to celebrate. This is to His glory – not ours (for what have we done?), but His glory. He is glorified for He has done these wondrous things in and through us. He is the Master Craftsman, and we, the Beloved Creation.

Life is too short to body shame yourself or others. As Jess says in her book, You were made for more than a love/hate relationship with your body.

Just a couple verses to remind us how God feels about us right this moment (not once we get it all together, but right here, right now):

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! 

You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day (Psalm 139:14-16).